…who miss the intimacy of having a husband….
God has given us physical bodies in a physical world to teach us spiritual lessons about Him…. He is the Bread of Life, could I relate to that unless I have tasted the deliciousness of hot, right out of the oven, flavorful bread? Could I understand He is the Water to quench my spiritual thirst unless I’d enjoyed that quenching drink of ice cold water on a hot thristy day? Could I appreciate He is the Light of the World, if I hadn’t observed darkness and light in this world governed by passage of time, the rising and setting of the sun and the moon? Could faith as a mustard seed make any sense, unless I have observed how a tiny seed can grow into a might oak tree? And then, could I imagine the kind of love God has for me, to be my Husband, if I had not enjoyed that husband in this life, He so graciously provided all those years ago?

As a widow I have been privileged to know that unity with my mate. That oneness that I committed to in our vows before the Lord when we married. Marriage taught me the the intense beauty of that physical union, oneness, and connection. God wants me to realize He is my Husband now. And He wants for me to know that spiritual connection to Him, in that same intense oneness…the sheer JOY that explodes with worship and praise because of Who He is to us, and what He does to care for me in His ongoing committment and love. When I committed to my husband in marriage, I made a choice. I chose him, agreed to make him the love of my life, to love, honor and obey.

Oneness

As a finite being I cannot know my infinite God except for His grace, His goodness to give me His Spirit to discern and understand His love letter to me. In it He has described in more ways than I can count, He loves me, and He wants me to love Him, to make Him my heart’s treasure. I could not begin to comprehend the enormity of that emotion, unless my heart had been captivated by my soulmate of nearly 52 years. In God’s grace and mercy He was teaching me how He wants to love me, spiritually love me as His own, part of the the Bride of Christ. I will never understand. I confess almost daily, not only am I a well cared for widow, but I am also His LITTLE child, helpless without my hand in His to lead me in His path of righteousness.

The Path

And as I walk that path I have many times been reminded, He leads me in that path of righteousness FOR HIS NAME’S SAKE. I so easily forget, as I search for comfort and security, for peace and rest, I am His, and as His own, my deepest joy comes when I make Him look good. When I declare to the world my God and my Savior has redeemed me for the sole purpose of worshipping and honoring Him in every way possible, because of Who He is and what He has done. He is everything I need, every day, every breath that I take. He is my provider. Everything that I know and understand about life in the realm of the physical has a counterpart in the spiritual world that takes me to Him, my Heavenly Bridegroom, the onefor whom I wait and with whom I look forward to spending Eternity. I anticipate His coming for me, I eagerly look forward to that day when He calls me to go to the home He is preparing for me.

God’s Provision

Do I miss my earthly husband…numberless times, every day. And yet, every day those tearful memories of missing the blessing of that good state of marriage, reminds me of what I have today in the care and provision of my Heavenly Husband. I know He loves and cares for me in ways I cannot even understand. I know He has a plan and a purpose for everything He gives me, everything He allows. He is in control, and I can trust Him implicitely. He is my strength, the shoulder I need to cry on, one that brings comfort, peace and rest as I read and absorb His Word and make it my own. I am learning to live beyond what this world has to offer. It’s just a shadow of what is to come. And while I wait, I am content for Him to be all I need. To make Him my first and only choice. To cherish Him in my heart first and foremost above all others, above all things.

Because that’s how this widow grieves, and has an ever growing sense of God’s incomparable value. He is worthy of my praise, gratitude, for the joy of knowing Him to the very core of my being. I choose Him, commit to Him, I want the world to know He is my choice, and why.